Deliberate

 

While I was sitting with Lily this morning, unlike her usual routine of 'feed, play, sleep', she fell asleep while feeding. Instead of quickly putting her in bed to get things done, I left her there for a minute and enjoyed her little body nestled closely to mine. As I sat there looking at her perfect little face, the thought came to me that my life won't always be like this (not a new thought but one that was particularly strong in the moment). This lovely time I have at home with toddlers and feeding babies won't always be. I got a little teary thinking about just how much I love these little ones of mine and what a privilege it is to be entrusted with them.

Recently my mum said to my sisters and I, "give your time to your babies. You won't regret it". There are SO many things we can fill our time with. So many good things we can involve ourselves in. And that 's where my favourite quote from general conference comes into play.....

"We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best........"

I know that BEST for me right now is being here WITH and FOR my kids (I know I've talked about this before but it's something I think about all.the.time). My kids are growing SO fast and won't always be little and won't always need me. (OK maybe they will always need me a little bit - just like I still need my mum :)

I want my mothering to be deliberate. I want to make conscious choices about how I spend my time and what my days are filled up with. I don't want to look back in 5, 10, 20 years and regret the 'good' things I chose to spend my time on (like being on the computer too much ;).  I know the memories made with my kids, and how they turn out, will be the things I reflect on the most when I'm old and gray and sitting in my rocking chair with Chad on our front porch :) These are the things that will bring me the most joy. Now and 'one day When'.