Believe

"I too believe that God will always make a way where there is no way. I believe that if we will walk in obedience to the commandments of God, if we will follow the counsel of the priesthood, he will open a way even where there appears to be no way."

Gordon B. Hinckley

6 years ago I wondered If I would ever have another baby. I had just lost a baby girl a little over half way through a pregnancy with complications relating to the baby and myself. 9 months later after lots of preparation I was having another baby and we were again told there were serious risks with the baby and were given a list of possible outcomes. 

I remember sitting in the doctors office thinking maybe Rylan would be our only child. I felt so very grateful for him and my role as a mother, but at the time with all the raw emotion, the thought was heart breaking. I knew I wanted more.

So we prayed and fasted for a miracle and received it in the form of a perfect little red head.

3 and a half years later we felt it was time again to ask for a miracle. Again the doctors monitored us closely with the knowledge that the pregnancy was high risk and there could be complications. Again we were blessed with a perfect healthy baby. 

And here we are again. Praying for another miracle.

I remember someone I worked with at the gym saying to me, 'why would you EVER risk having more children when you know something could be wrong with the baby??' I thought about this for a long time. "Maybe we are asking too much?" "Maybe we should just be content with the children we already have".......lots of thoughts like this floating around. Lots of prayers offered to know the answers.

While in the temple that same week I had the strongest impression that "there is a spirit waiting for you, and it's ready to come NOW".

And then a  friend of mine had a baby with down syndrome. When I first met this beautiful little girl it was like her little spirit spoke directly to mine. I was so overcome with emotion and I knew in that moment as I looked at this precious baby, that regardless of 'high risk' factors and 'possible' outcomes, there was a baby waiting to join our family. We just had to trust, have faith and be prepared.

The above quote was a beautiful reminder that through believing and acting, miracles happen. Everyday. Even when we think they are impossible. Sometimes we just have to wait longer than we'd like to receive them.

5 weeks 1 day. I think I feel ready :)