You know how you hear people say "oh I kept getting the feeling that 'someone' was missing from our family and that's how I knew I had to have another baby'. Well the last few weeks I have been getting this feeling ALL THE TIME. Infact almost daily.
Everytime I turn around, I think where's ??? and then I realise that all the kids are with me and no-one is missing. When we're 'loading up the car' I get the same feeling. When we're out in the yard. When we're sitting down to eat. When we're watching something together. OK you get the idea. It's all the time.
The other week I was at the shops with my sister and our kids. My 4 kids + her 4 kids. Yes apparently we are quite the spectacle. (Luckily they were all well behaved. Can you imagine the people looking at us if we had 8 kids running a muck :) And even with all those 'little people' gathered around us as we walked, I STILL had that feeling that someone was missing and I had to keep checking. And this feeling is not just a little thought. It's a 'OH NO where's ??? flicker of panic that ??? could be lost kind of feeling.
After I had Lily, We had said, yeah maybe we're good with 4 babies. 2 boys, 2 girls. Perfect. (and at 2 am in the morning crying in pain while feeding (true story.....ahhh wince at the memory) I had thought - yeah I am DEFINITELY good with 4. Even the thought of being pregnant again makes me feel tired and especially the thought of the first 3 weeks of feeding.
But I can't shake this feeling. Maybe that's why Lily is SUCH a good baby. To help me forget my feeding woes and once again open me up to the possibility of having 'more'. Not necessarily now, but one day.
For now though, I am content with my four and so enjoying the loveliness that is Lily. Jazzy on the other hand, oh my. I love that girl to PIECES but. what can I say. It's been a while since I've had a 2 year old and my my my how the drama of this girl is unfolding. hahaha. luckily I love her sweet-chubbiness to death otherwise we would be in trouble :)
and now I'm looking at her cute little face in this picture and I am putty in her hands........hahaha ;)
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13 comments:
I know that missing feeling. I do a head count 1,2,3 and am surprised that everyone is here.
haha ! I just told ken this morning that I have been having that feeling alot lately! mwah ha hah we both went oh oh... but i put it down to Gabi finally being responisble enough to walk around etc with out holding my hand all the time.
Felicity, one more makes no diff.
Except maybe in the wallet (ha ha). My mother thought she was having 4 and got twins on her last try (myself and my twin brother) so wouldn't that be really funny? For me anyway! But seriously, let me tell you I have never had that feeling and that is how I know that there is only a Charli and a Zak to come to me. So hold onto that feeling because I can only imagine the pain of a little one being stuck in Heaven waiting to come down to their family and not getting here. Lets just hope my feeling is right.
PS: Just think of what Zak and Jazzy can get up to over Xmas and New years. OHHHHHH NOOOOOOOO
you are truely an inspiration in how intune with the spirit you are, a true daughter of god
really ;)
on the jazzy note- i'm just grateful I'm not the only one with high drama. i find the same thing with photos of livy though (i have a theory it is because photos can't talk back or tell you to 'get out of here!') hehehe love these little 'princesses'.
haha neets, Jazzy doesn't say "get out of here" she's more likely to say 'i'm not your friend anymore, never again'...hahaha. she's clearly influenced by her older siblings who may on occasion say things like that.....hahaha
ahhh love those little drama queens!!!
oh and Laree, Jazzy and Zak are going to be best friends.... :)
Felicity, I have that feeling all day, every day!
YAY!!! Have more babies!!!! :) That's my thought! I was excited when I read this post. I don't know why I get so happy about babies, but they are just so amazing and I think the whole world should have a million. :)
Leah you are so funny! Wait till your nearly 40 then you may want to slow down. I have a feeling though the cot will stay in the family for a very long time. You can name your first girl after me. Ha only kidding.
haha Leah! I don't know about a million babies but maybe one....or two more...haha. I think I will always WANT a baby, especially when my youngest is not so little :(
oh well at least I can always cuddle with your babies since you'll be having them forever. haha
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